WHEN A WIFE BECOMES A MOTHER

When a girl is born, she is the light of her Daddies eye. She can do no wrong that he cannot excuse or make better. She is one of the most important people in the world to him.

When a girl becomes a woman she is the finest of God’s creation. She has matured to become the best example of humanity. No longer Daddy’s little girl, but a complete person, now her Heavenly Father’s little girl with a growing dependant relationship with Him.

When a woman becomes a wife she enters into Gods purpose for her created life. She is entering into the great task for which she is perfectly designed, created and assigned. To be a helper, aide and cheerleader for the man that her Father has brought into her life is the greatest purpose and achievement that may be obtained. To elevate her husband and aide him in his God given ministry and purpose in life, is her calling from above.

When a wife becomes a mother, her husband and head gains a family or loses a wife and finds he’s married to a mother instead of a wife. If she places motherhood above marriage, she has left her first calling and purpose for a secondary purpose, noble and wonderful as it is. There can only be one first place. Mother or wife, which role is God’s calling for life?

Fair Share - MM#2

Arithmetic has caused a lot of problems for married people and I don't mean balancing the checkbook. Somehow the idea has become popular that marriage is a 50/50 arrangement. Each spouse gives half effort and they meet harmoniously in the middle. Unfortunately that doesn't work. Soon there is some sort of inadequacy and then someone starts keeping score. Resentment and bitterness are the result, showing up as anger, tears, distance and more. Eventually isolation becomes the norm and happiness decreases rather than grows.

In God's program as taught in Ephesians 5 each spouse gives 100%. The wife totally yields herself to the authority, protection and leadership of her husband. The husband totally loves his wife as Christ loved the church, without expectation of perfection (just as she is). When each spouse endeavors to give all, the expectations are not as great as the acceptance of the others gift. Consider not asking what you can get from your spouse, but what can I give him/her. There truly is greater joy in giving than receiving.

Back to Slavery (unfinished business)

Anon, "So am I to understand that slavery should be accepted as polygamy should be accepted today? After all slavery was not condemned in the bible, and just like the many men of God that had multiple wives, also had slaves. Slavery/Polygamy tradition or Truth?"

I have been told by the anonymous commenter that my previous response was not answered clearly and that I was perceived as "beating around the bush". Let me try again. Slavery and marriage are both greatly misunderstood in our society and both have often been linked as twin evils. They are, however, neither twins nor evil in themselves. It is our limited knowledge of God and His Word that is causing the consternation.

God's Word does approve of slavery and the marriage of men with additional wives and no amount of cultural observation can add to or take away from what He says. Our greatest difficulty arises when we try to impose modern western values, which are unstable at best to the unchangeable Word of God. He doesn't change, nor do His values. There are at least three distinct types of slavery referred to in the Bible, only one is desirable from the slaves position.

Under the Torah, when one is a prisoner of war he or she has been spared as a slave for life. A woman captured, may also become a wife to her captor, with full stature as a Hebrew wife. Men are slaves for life with little or no rights or protections, such is the fate of war. In the NT, under the Roman system, entire conquered nations are slaves to the emperor and individuals are slaves to particular masters. In both situations there is hope of adoption into Roman society or the possibility of somehow purchasing one's own freedom. The third type of slavery revealed in the Word is that of the bond-servant. In this arrangement one may be sold into servitude by parents or one may sell themselves for money or to settle a debt. This type of slavery is approved and regulated by God in the Torah. This slave has few rights and is the exclusive property of the master. He does have hope of redemption and or release at the sabbatical year. This type of slave is the one compared to the servants of God in the NT. This slavery is good and acceptable to God.

The prisoner of war and the roman style slavery is not condoned by God, but is recognized as a real state of affairs for the believer. It does not, however, transcend the liberty we have in Christ. That liberty is possible even though one is a slave in disagreeable circumstances.

The bond-servant slave is much like a person that signs an employment contract that is legally binding. While the analogy is not complete, it does give us a feel for acceptable slavery. One of my ancestors was an indentured servant. This was her way of paying for her passage to America in the late 1700's.

Whether or not our point of view supports what the Bible teaches, the Bible is always right and true and His Word always trumps human opinion. The same may be said for the Bible truth of marriage. Marriage according to God is always the relationship of one man and one woman. The same man may also have the same relationship, simultaneously with an additional wife and still be legitimate in each. God does not approve, promote or condone group marriage. What God says , He means and what He approves is always acceptable to Him, whether we like it or not. He will not change to meet our expectations. We should change to meet His.

Random thoughts and questions

My mind often scatters like fall leaves blowing in the wind. These thoughts and questions are one of those scatterings. I invite your responses and insights.

1. Can a single Christian man or woman THRIVE, emotionally, socially or spiritually in todays American society??
2. Is the opposition to the FLDS polygynist lifestyle appropriate when compared to the accepted and tolerated loose living lifestyle of moderate "Christians"?
3. Is feminism the result of evolutionary thinking or does it have a Biblical basis?
4. Thought: A man, whose wife has the power (ability, right) to permit or forbid his taking on the responsibility of an additional wife, is not operating in Biblical patriarchal authority.

Sarah Palin - VP or Possible Prez

Sarah Palin is a fresh breeze blowing over the political meadow. While I admire her many accomplishments and many of her views, I cannot endorse her for office, on the grounds of principle. As one who believes strongly in patriarchy as God's standard for society, I cannot elect a matriarch to what may amount to be the highest office of our country. While she may be an admirable person, she is a matriarch none the less. How can she function as wife and mother and still function as governor or VP or possibly as president? If she isn't then we must investigate the views of her husband, because he would be the power behind the "throne". I am not diminishing Mrs. Palin or her ability. I am however, lamenting that there isn't a patriarch in America that could step up to the plate and do an equal job. This lack of real men is the downfall and destruction of our country.

Where to get married? MM #1

"A Marriage made in Heaven", is a phrase that most people would desire to have describe their marriage. A lofty goal indeed, but one fraught with disappointment. Marriages are not made in heaven, but in the day to day experiences of life. Some feel that if only they were married in Church or a religious ceremony they would have better success in their home. Experiences of thousands of couples over my 40+ years of observation, show me that there is no correlation between where or what kind wedding ceremony and marital success. I have searched the Bible intently, for a wedding ceremony that I could use in modern times and found, -- NONE--, ZERO! What I did find is a large body of information revealing how one becomes a husband or wife, how we are to treat one another and what our responsibilities are to each other and to God.

In Gods design for marriage there is no ceremony required, no government approval required, no licence or registration required and no certificate required.

What is required is honesty, committment, kindness and obedience to Gods law of how we treat our fellow man.

Bottom line is this, a man and woman that is married, (recognizing the above requirements) on the beach or in the woods, by a Justice of the peace or a Judge or even solemn vows of commitment to each other are just as married in the sight of God and have just as great potential for success as anyone else and in some cases, greater.

Love? That's another MM#

Move out!

In my opinion (does that exempt me from being thought of as a know-it-all ?), one of the major problems affecting marriage today is the concept of "oneness" between husbnand and wife. Among my recent discoveries, I noticed that many marriages suffer a lack of satisfaction because of unrealistic expectations of what it means to be one with your spouse or spouses. Many of us have been taught to expect that when we marry, our relationship with our spouse will take on a magical or spiritual essense (like in the movies)where we unite on a level of "oneness" that excludes everyone else and in "oneness" we will eventually find wedded bliss. It sounds real good, only one problem, it isn't true!! The kind of "oneness" that is being sought can only be attained over a period of many years together. For many spouses, it is never attained. For them and all others in the intervening years between starting out and finally surviving to old age together (assuming you make it) what really happens? After the passion of youthful vitality wanes and the bloom of romance fades into daily reality, what we are left with is the stuff that lasting relationships are made of, love, committment, compromise, patience, making mistakes, learning from mistakes, forgiveness, etc. These are the things that make a marriage successful. They have made arranged marriages work and polygynous marriages work over thousands of years and they are essential to the ever popular monogamous marriages as well.

Where does the concept of oneness come in? From Genesis 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." We are not certain if these were specifically the words of the Creator, of Adam or later Moses. I suspect, God through Moses, but nevertheless it says "one flesh" not one spirit or one person or any other level of "oneness". Some conservative scholars tell us that the "oneness" mentioned is sexual oneness, copulation. While that may well apply, I think there is a more obvious answer that has long been over looked by spiritualizing God's Word. Look at the context, "leave father and mother and cleave unto his wife = one flesh, the establishing of a new family unit. There are reasons bird parents push their young out of the nest. Our generation of people are missing that. When a young man and woman marry, they should move out of the parental home and take on the responsibility of their own home and family unit.

In this diagram, I hope to show how our concept of oneness has robbed people of their unique identity and damaged their relationship with God.

In section "A" the double lines show relationship, responsibility and desire to please our spouses as the primary function in our relationship and the red broken lines show a secondary relationship to God that doesn't have the priority and strength that the first do, leaving God in the perimeter of our lives as an emergency source of help.

In section "B" we see the double lines show relationship to God as being the chief priority, trusting, pleasing and finding our source of strength and purpose in Him. The single line between spouses indicates a level of relationship that does not depend upon the spouse for our happiness, thereby relieving them of the awesome responsibility to be what we need. Spouse is then freed to be who and what he/she is and we can then appreciate them for their reality rather than the role of our emotional supporter. Each can contribute to the relationship, characteristics and commodities that make for a lasting relationship without draining the resources of the other. No spouse can make us happy when we are not happy with God and ourselves. There is no degree of mystical, romantic "oneness" that can make it happen. Because of this, I believe most marriages that fail have arrived at the tragedy of broken hearts.