Polygamy and Patriarchy

I designed this chart to illustrate how the culture that God designed for His people will dictate the acceptable styles of marriage that will work in that culture. Conversely, the styles of marriage that are acceptable in our current culture will reveal whether we are operating according to His design. While you may not be aware at this time, I do support the civil right of responsible, mature adults to practice any style of marriage acceptable between God and themselves, I will limit my discussion to the styles and cultures represented on this chart.

This is how Polygamy fits into a New Look At Marriage. God designed marriage, with specific guidelines and He designed a culture, with specific structure.

Any culture that does not allow the style of marriage acceptable to God as shown by His acceptance (without rebuke) of OT saints is not the culture designed by God.

Any style of marriage that doesn't fit the culture designed by God and implemented by His OT saints is not an acceptable style of marriage to God.

Without listing a long file of references, let me conclude this way (I welcome your comments), God designed a patriarchal culture with established leadership. The only styles of marriage that fits this culture is polygamy (by choice) and monogamy (by choice). Monogamy only does not fit the culture designed by God. For our society, civil or ecclesiastical, to promote a style of marriage that is not acceptable to God shows that we have deviated from His plan. If we have deviated there, where else may we be off base?

Are we slaves today?

Anon, "So am I to understand that slavery should be accepted as polgamy should be accepted today? After all slavery was not condemnd in the bible, and just like the many men of God that had multiple wives, also had slaves. Slavery/Polgamy tradition or Truth?"
June 23, 2008 8:52 PM

Thanks for the question! That is a good observation. Both polygamy and slavery were political issues in the U.S.A. during the mid 1800's. Both were linked as evils by politicians to further their careers, much like politicians do today. Slavery was primarily directed toward southern farmers and polygamy was primarily directed toward the LDS church. The civil war was the result of the tirade on slavery and the LDS repealed their position on polygamy, with statehood for Utah as the result. People benefited in both cases. However, as you point out polygamy and slavery were both practiced by Godly men in the Bible. Do we also see that both were practiced by ungodly men and heathen as well?

Both polygamy and slavery, as allowed and regulated by God were much different than what resides in the consciousness of today's western world. We tend to think of both of these cases as being against the will of the individual. That is not the case in the Biblical, blessed sense. To properly understand what The Bible says about these issues, we must think outside our little boxes of smug convenience. Keep the character of God in view as we look into this matter at a future time.

Response To Disciple

"1) It is true that there is no direct commandment to polygyny. We do, however, have the commandment to be fruitful and multiply and further, if one will read Paul's letters carefully, I think one will see that marriage is "expected of" women. (I am hesitant to say marriage is "commanded"; I wish to consider that in some more depth.)"
Disciple,
I like your observation that marriage is "expected of" women. I think that this is the correct view for the NT times when there were few, if any options for widows or single Mom's (God bless them both), but now, I feel that it is permissible to say that marriage is not obligatory, because there are more opportunities for social or financial assistance available. This helps eliminate the necessity for marriage and opens the door for marriage by desire (physical, emotional or social; all acceptable reasons). I would like to suggest a modification for your consideration as you investigate the issue. Let's say that marriage is "available for" women in the Christian setting (with some modification to our way of thinking). Let me know what you think.

Feminism

Patriarchy and feminism receive so much opposition because both terms have been seriously perverted in modern thinking. Both are Biblical principles that have been twisted to benefit the unique personal point of view of those opposed to God and His purposes. God always has our best interests at heart, even though often, He doesn't clue us in on what's happening. His plan is for us to trust Him and see how He is working things out for His glory and our good.

As I mentioned before patriarchy [and feminism (Bible based)] is a template or pattern of God's relationship with mankind and vice versa. God's enemy and ours, Satan, has perverted these principles to further his own purposes. He began his devious plot in the garden of Eden, when he approached Eve and tempted her to listen to his authority, rather than the authority of her husband (who was placed in that position by God). She had the ability and the right to choose and experience the consequences of that choice. Please notice that Satan did not tempt Adam, but subverted God's program and skipped over the authority figure and initiated rebellion to God's template (mode of operation). Satan has been doing this very effectively since that time. Adam's failure was in listening to the voice of his wife rather than the command of God. He failed as the leader of his family.

That God placed Adam and Eve in respective positions regarding authority (I Corinthians 11), does not make either the man or the woman superior to the other. God's secondary purpose in having distinct organization is for order, efficiency, safety, mental and physical health. His primary purpose is to show us how to have a happy, productive relationship with Him. Patriarchy has been perverted in the minds of the world and therefore most Christians, to assume that this organization makes men abusive masters and women, abject slaves.

Feminism has been perverted in our world today to assume that women are not only equal to men (which they are), but superior (which they are not) and do not need men to be complete and fulfilled. Furthermore feminism today assumes that if women ruled the world, there would be no war, strife and famine. Feminism as the world portrays it, is the perversion that Satan initiated in Eden. It also eliminates God, most people are not aware of the ramifications of modern feminism carried to its ultimate conclusion.

Feminism in the Biblical sense, is altogether different. When God created the first woman, she was the ultimate of His creative work, saving the best for last and then He rested. No jokes about having her do all the work from there on out, please. Adam was formed from the dust of the ground, she was not, she was formed from Adam, man once refined. It has never been part of God's program that women be regarded as slaves or property. That a wife would be in submission to her husbands leadership is no more demeaning to her than it is for all of us to be in submission to our Lords leadership. [See the template at work?] The idea of being demeaned is the result of Satan's perversion of God's program. What God did institute is a program or organization that works extremely well when both men and women fit into their respective roles according to His design. Again, this is not respecting value, but organization and portrayal of God's plan.

All marital problems that exist today have their source in the failure of one or both parties to fulfill their role as God designed. Guys, I am afraid that we as men have the larger responsibility in the failure in marriage. We fail when we do not take the position of leadership for our families, leading them in the way that God leads us. When we lead by poll rather than Biblical policy, we repeat the failure of Adam in the garden.

As to the ability of women to be persons of great self-worth, relative independence, accomplishment, and skill, etc., I only need to refer you to many examples in Scripture; Sarah, Ruth, Deborah, Priscilla, Mary and Martha, etc., but primarily the Proverbs 31 woman. She was strong, motivated, industrious and a free thinker that operated in the structure that God created. To borrow a phrase from the U.S. Army, "Be All That You Can Be". For men and women alike that is a good goal, only we must operate within the frame work of our Lord's design.

Previously Deleted from PV 27:17

Finally, you have begun to demonstrate your whole of emotional and relational inadequacy.2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"Please forget every image you may have of a patriarch for a few moments and envision instead, God. See Him as the righteous, gracious, loving, patient, creative and powerful person that He is. Now place that image over the name husband/father."One should not try to cover their failures by placing the image of God over them as husband/father. Rather, it is better to strive to be able to be in the image of Christ. One should be able to mirror, not hide behind the image of Christ."Our Lord has done this Himself, He has identified Himself at various times as both husband and father to Israel and to all believers in the N.T."God never super-imposed Himself over an abusive, selfish, and corrupt patriarch to cover their sins. Rather, he made His love an example of how we should be as husbands and father. To love our wives as Christ has loved the church and gave Himself for it. Your previous blogs have called women selfish for not wanting to share their husbands. But that statement is contrary to the heart of a Christ-like husband who should be willing to love his wife to the point that he would give himself for her.Please face up to the real issue at hand. You have developed feelings for another woman, and she did not respond as you had hoped. You feel guilty for loving another. Now you are trying to justify your feelings by hiding behind the practice of polygamy of the OT.This isn't working for you. You are losing your family, your church, and you are devastating your wife.This does not sound like the kind of man who is a true patriarch, a loving husband, or an example of Christ. To DISCIPLE and Mr. X, and any others who may have sympathy for his cause - Do you know John personally? I do. I know him very well. (And I'm sure by now, he knows me.) I am witnessing first-hand the destruction he is setting forth on the church he at one time loved, I am seeing the devastation that he is bringing to his family. And I know ever-so-well his manipulative efforts demonstrated in his writings. And I will be here, John, to argue and discourage your cause.You have sinned against the Lord; and be sure your sin will find you out. Numbers 32:23. - PV 27:17

Previously Deleted from PV 27:17

PV 27:17 has left a new comment on your post "When I grow up ....": Please comment on how your wife and family feel about your endeavor to support polygamy.Please comment on how your church family is responding.Please comment on how those around you are being affected by your APPROACH and apparent EXPECTATION of unquestioned following you as patriarch.I would be interested to hear more about how this belief system is benefitting the families around you.I would like to grow up to be like Jesus. I would like to be willing to love like Him, and to be willing to make others more important than myself. I probably won't make it, but that's what I'd like.

Previously deleted from PV27:17

PV 27:17 has left a new comment on your post "Guest Post": Michael D.Probably, you will not see this comment as John will undoubtedly delete it, but I'll try anyway. The comments that have been monitored were in no way connected to his belief of polyamy. Nor were they commentd to any of his blogs directed to polygamy. Rather his approach toward his family and church as he insists on convincing other to follow his beliefs. John sent an personal email to his family and friends asking them to read and comment on his blogs. This should offer them the opportunity to respond based on their personal experience and relationship with him. We were personally invited, now monitored. Mine was one of the comments deleted, and it did in fact contain Scripture that spoke to the behavior that is exhibited in his personal relationships, which he does not talk about in his blogs. His wife is in an incredible amount of emotional pain, and he is ignoring this. His grandson wrote a comment which was also deleted, and the grandson's attempt to reach out was also ignored. Members of his church are hurt and confused.If one follows his blogs, it is evident that polygamy is not the real issue he is discussing, as his more recent posts are dealing with topics of masculinity, respect, and a patriachal systems. He is no longer defending polygamy, but some sense of self.Please let it be noted that the comments that John is finding necessary to monitor are not in opposition to polygamy, but to the approach and attitude he is presenting in his personal life. He is being questioned on the consistency of his writings and actions. To these comments and questions he refuses to respond, or post.I hope you are able to see this comment and hopefully anyone else who reads this will be able to acknowlede that there are familes being affected by this blogger in negative and permanent ways.