God Is The Patriarch

God has two families, all humans by virtue of creation, and those who are children of God by faith in Christ, by virtue of being born-again through the Word of God and the Holy Spirit.  God is the ultimate patriarch.  He rules because He is the God and Father of us all.

God designed the family to be a patriarchy that reflects His patriarchal structure in His relationship with His families.  Those who are His family only by virtue of creation will benefit from following His patriarchal structure, but because of the lack of faith there is rebellion against that structure, resulting in male patriarchal abuse by way of force and female rebellion against God's authority in patriarchal structure.  Those who are in His family of faith are to function as a patriarchy in compliance with the will of God, in complete fulfillment of His purpose.  While it is difficult to operate in a godly manner while living in a secular, rebellious world, we do have the benefit of the Word of God and the Holy Spirit to equip us for the task.  In the godly family, both the husband and wife fulfill their patriarchal roles, motivated by love for God and each other, not through force, violence, or stubbornness.

Husbands are instructed by God to love their wives; to protect, provide for, lead, and guide them in daily living and in their walk with God.  They are to be the priests and prophets of their families.  None of this is because wives expect it, demand it, or deserve it, but because it is the will of God and He will reward the husband’s faithfulness.  Wives are instructed by God to be in submission to their husbands in everything, to reverence them, to encourage and succor them, to care for the home, to raise and nurture his children.  She is not to direct him or correct him, nor is she in the position to question his decisions or judgment.  As the husbands are to reflect the role and character of God in their role and behavior, wives are to reflect the role of churches and believers in general as they relate to the headship of Christ and His authority over them.  God’s plan is God the Father (Patriarch) is head over Christ, Christ is the head over the husband (Patriarch), the husband is the head over the wife (patriarch).  This pattern is found in 1 Corinthians 11:3.

God’s plan for His family of faith is for them to operate in patriarchal families motivated by love for God and each other, through the directive of His Word and the instructions contained therein.  Wives are instructed to submit to and reverence their husband, not because they deserve it or when the wives think the men are right, but only because God said so.  Husbands are to care for and love their wives, not because they are lovable or when they are nice to their men or when they want some spousal interaction, but because God said so!  To alter this plan, for whatever reason is to argue and dispute with our Creator and Redeemer.  Arguing with Him, removes Him as Lord and substitutes our will as the authority in our lives.

  

These instructions are only for the family of faith.  For God’s redeemed and born-again faithful family, there is NO exception and NO escape clause.  Changing this pattern is fighting with God and it is guaranteed that you will lose on many levels.  There is no other way, but to TRUST and OBEY!

BOAZ - The unsung hero of the Book of Ruth

The law of the childless widow.

Deuteronomy 25:5-10

If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her. And it shall be, that the firstborn which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his name be not put out of Israel. And if the man like not to take his brother's wife, then let his brother's wife go up to the gate unto the elders, and say, My husband's brother refuseth to raise up unto his brother a name in Israel, he will not perform the duty of my husband's brother. Then the elders of his city shall call him, and speak unto him: and if he stand to it, and say, I like not to take her; then shall his brother's wife come unto him in the presence of the elders, and loose his shoe from off his foot, and spit in his face, and shall answer and say, So shall it be done unto that man that will not build up his brother's house. And his name shall be called in Israel, The house of him that hath his shoe loosed.



Boaz was wealthy and well respected.

Ruth 2:1

And Naomi had a kinsman of her husband's, a mighty man of wealth, of the family of Elimelech; and his name was Boaz.



Boaz was spiritual.

Ruth 2:4-5

And behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem, and said unto the reapers, The LORD be with you. And they answered him, The LORD bless thee. Then said Boaz unto his servant that was set over the reapers, “Whose damsel is this?”



Boaz was practical.

Ruth 2:8-9

Then said Boaz unto Ruth, Hearest thou not, my daughter? Go not to glean in another field, neither go from hence, but abide here fast by my maidens: Let thine eyes be on the field that they do reap, and go thou after them: have I not charged the young men that they shall not touch thee? and when thou art athirst, go unto the vessels, and drink of that which the young men have drawn.



Boaz had good values and respected the same in others.

Ruth 2:11-12

And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore. The LORD recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.





Boaz was generous.

Ruth 2:15-16

And when she was risen up to glean, Boaz commanded his young men, saying, Let her glean even among the sheaves, and reproach her not: and let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her, and leave them, that she may glean them, and rebuke her not.



Boaz was a man of higher than normal moral standards.

Ruth 3:7-12

And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of corn: and she came softly, and uncovered his feet, and laid her down. And it came to pass at midnight, that the man was afraid, and turned himself: and, behold, a woman lay at his feet. And he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou art a near kinsman. And he said, Blessed be thou of the LORD, my daughter: for thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman. And now it is true that I am thy near kinsman: howbeit there is a kinsman nearer than I.



Boaz knew how to take care of business.

Ruth 4:1-2

Then went Boaz up to the gate, and sat him down there: and, behold, the kinsman of whom Boaz spake came by; unto whom he said, Ho, such a one! Turn aside, sit down here. And he turned aside, and sat down. And he took ten men of the elders of the city, and said, Sit ye down here. And they sat down.



Boaz was used by God in the lineage of Jesus.

Ruth 4:13

So Boaz took Ruth, and she was his wife: and when he went in unto her, the LORD gave her conception, and she bare a son.

Ruth 4:17

And the women her neighbours gave it a name, saying, There is a son born to Naomi; and they called his name Obed: he is the father of Jesse, the father of David.



Boaz was likely already married at least once.

Ruth 2:1

And Naomi had a kinsman of her husband's, a mighty man of wealth, of the family of Elimelech; and his name was Boaz.

{A man of his wealth and power was not a young man. He would have been extremely odd indeed, had he attained his position without being married to at least one wife. Polygyny was an accepted and approved practice among the people of God, even in that day.}





Boaz was more likely nearer Naomi’s age than Ruth’s age.

Like Naomi, Boaz called Ruth “daughter” 4 times. He spoke to her in a clear paternal manner until, under Naomi’s instruction; Ruth pressed the issue of the Law of the childless widow. Boaz called her righteous in the matter.



No mention of romantic love is found in the Book of Ruth.

Honor, faithfulness, respect and character permeate the book, but not one mention of romantic love is found. Where these traits exist, love will grow and abound. Where they do not exist, initial love will wither and die, leaving a bitter remorse.

Enlightened New Look

One of the greatest discoveries that I have made in taking a New Look At Marriage is the capacity for love that God has given to men. We have all heard for a long time about the wonderful qualities of a woman's love for others, family, friends and even needy strangers. Men, however, are usually left on the sidelines as insensitive, hardened characters whose lives need to be blessed by the loving influence of some gracious, sacrificing women that comes to save them from their isolation. Most of us men have bought into that scenario, projected by our culture and the media.

God, who is LOVE, created us in HIS own image, therefore both men and women have a great capacity for love. Men, in particular are created by God with the desire to love, protect, lead and provide for women. Our religious culture has put a limitation of one love only on that divine impulse, a limitation that is not found anywhere in the Bible. Men are then frustrated in their honest and upright desire and ability to love more than one woman at a time, by the lie, that it is a sinful and immoral impulse. My discovery of this lie and the subsequent realization that my innate capacity to morally and righteously love is a gift from God, to be embraced and exercised as God leads, is the most liberating truth I have experienced since I learned to trust Christ Jesus as Savior.

WIFE MATERIAL

A few weeks ago, I was contemplating taking up the career of a matchmaker. No, not Ohio Blue Tips, but the kind that is much more incendiary. Matching up a man and a woman with the hopes of matrimonial bliss. I have several acquaintances that are single guys and I would like to see them happily married to a wonderful woman.

I have abandoned the career of matchmaker because of the lack of sufficient resources. In speaking to several men over the last few weeks, it seems, in the opinion of most of them, I would certainly fail. The consensus of opinion is that all the available women are s---s, b------s and w----s. All the good ones, are taken, too young or too old. Since I am a curious optimist, investigation was inevitable. The first thing I found was bitterness and ignorance abound (on both sides of the sexual divide). There has been way too much pain and misery to allow clear thinking and good judgment. As a 41 year veteran of matrimony myself, I am self-certified to speak on this issue.

GOOD THING

Men and women equally view potential partners through rose-colored glasses and when the glasses are removed the object of interest is drab in comparison to the rosy image that is hoped for. Simply put, no one measures up to our expectations. The institution of marriage is not lacking, God designed it, and so it must be right. All the women of our society cannot really be as identified above (though some may actually). Every man or even most men cannot seriously be beyond hope as good husbands. Where the fault lies, is in the understanding of what we (men and women) are to be and what marriage is really like. God says in Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” Being married is a good thing, if done right. If done wrong, it has the potential to be hell on earth. Most marriages fall somewhere in between, OK and “oh hell”, in reality. Few come close to heaven. Don’t forget marriage is a good thing, God should know, He designed it and instituted it. I would like to see how much closer marriages could get to heaven. Here’s the rub, to succeed, we must do it HIS way and most men and women are comfortably ensconced in the myths and fairy tales of romance. This is far removed from God’s Biblical reality. If you are not interested in KNOWING and DOING marriage God’s way, leave now. There is nothing more for you. If you WILL DO HIS WILL, read on.
I agree there aren’t many women available that qualify as good wife material. However, not because of lack in their character, but for most of them it is due to ignorance. They, as have most of our population, been brain washed by our popular culture as to what a wife really is to be. Let’s check with the designer. I know it is against our image to read the instructions, but let’s try it anyway.

LEADERSHIP

Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
Genesis 3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” Before sin became part of human nature, God declared His purpose for creating wives, and nothing has changed that, not even sin. God made the first wife to be a helper to the man, a helper that is compatible with him, but a helper nonetheless. He is the leader; she is the helper, as designed by God. Why do we think we can improve on God’s design? Men are ignorant of leadership and women are ignorant of what it means to be a helper. For this article we will set aside leadership for another time and for greater investigation and focus on helpers. After sin entered, the human relationship is clarified, not changed. As a result of sin she will desire to lead, but leadership remains mans responsibility. It is not about qualification or ability, but design and authority of the designer.

AUTHORITY

Ephesians 5:22-24
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Let’s put aside all the romance that has affected us all our lives (can that happen?) and look at what works. God designed much more than marriage and its all been working since the beginning of time. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. Nothing successfully lives with two heads. Everything has a front or back, top or bottom, beginning or end, inside or outside or first and last. Why would we think that marriage wouldn’t have similar parameters? Any marriage must have an authority figure, a head, to function effectively and properly. God gave that responsibility to the husband. Helpers, DO NOT, exercise the authority of the head. Ladies, do not take upon your-self the authority that God gave to men that will be husbands. If you have a husband that is not the leader he should be, DO NOT take the rein of authority, God gave it to him. If you do, you add to the chaos. Lift him up to God in prayer and be what you are to be in Gods design. God will change him, take him off the scene or you leave him till he does change. Please, do not step into his role. He will never change if you do. Ladies, if you are single, do not compromise and “settle” for a man who will expect you to lead, he’s a “Momma’s Boy” and always will be. You desire a man and not a “boy”. You will only be truly happy with and fulfilled by a “man”.

REVERENCE

Ephesians 5:33 “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she REVERENCE her husband.”
Below is the Greek word translated reverence, as you can see, it is not what our popular culture teaches as the right behavior of a wife.
[phobeo (fob-eh'-o); to frighten, i.e. (passively) to be alarmed; by analogy, to be in awe of, i.e. revere]
But this is the intention of the designer, God. Do you want a designer marriage, here’s how. Do you want a designer husband; look for one that you can reverence. If you treat him like a boy, that’s how he will likely respond, same thing if you reverence him as a man. Reverence is the attitude we are to have toward God and husbands. If you want your man to love you like God loves you, try revering him as you do God, you will like the change you see. Do you criticize God? Do you second-guess His plans? Do you belittle Him to others? Do you devalue His work and ministry? Do you put God second to family, friends and whatever happens to be on TV? How do you serve God? Is He satisfied with it? Not likely, then why should a husband be served any less? “My husband isn’t like God”, I’m sorry, talk to the designer, it is His idea. If you want a designer marriage and spouse, you must do it Gods way, no options!

LOVE

Titus 2:4-5 The aged women also …“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
We have been indoctrinated by our popular culture that marriage is all about love, but it isn’t. Love is not even the best foundation for marriage. Love is an emotion that can ebb and flow like the tide, with the moon or our circumstances. According to Titus 2, young women can be and may be taught to love their husbands. Not “how” to love, but “to” love. This is after the marriage; therefore it is not the foundation. Two issues are more important to a man in marriage than anything else, trust and respect. Trust and respect are more important than love because they are the bedrock characteristics of a husband. A wife may love her husband with all her heart and being, but if she does not shore him up with trust and respect, she emasculates him in the relationship and he cannot and will not be the husband desired. It is impossible for a man to be a leader, if he does not have loyal, faithful, trusting, respectful followers. I know our culture teaches equality of the sexes and equality of the roles in marriage. They are wrong. The designer of marriage, our God and Creator has declared equal value in His sight, but distinctly different roles for men and women. He has repeatedly expressed His displeasure and judgment for those who would alter His Word and purposes. Be a designer wife and have a designer marriage. Become good wife material and God will provide you with a husband you can reverence, trust, respect and love.

Move out!

In my opinion (does that exempt me from being thought of as a know-it-all ?), one of the major problems affecting marriage today is the concept of "oneness" between husbnand and wife. Among my recent discoveries, I noticed that many marriages suffer a lack of satisfaction because of unrealistic expectations of what it means to be one with your spouse or spouses. Many of us have been taught to expect that when we marry, our relationship with our spouse will take on a magical or spiritual essense (like in the movies)where we unite on a level of "oneness" that excludes everyone else and in "oneness" we will eventually find wedded bliss. It sounds real good, only one problem, it isn't true!! The kind of "oneness" that is being sought can only be attained over a period of many years together. For many spouses, it is never attained. For them and all others in the intervening years between starting out and finally surviving to old age together (assuming you make it) what really happens? After the passion of youthful vitality wanes and the bloom of romance fades into daily reality, what we are left with is the stuff that lasting relationships are made of, love, committment, compromise, patience, making mistakes, learning from mistakes, forgiveness, etc. These are the things that make a marriage successful. They have made arranged marriages work and polygynous marriages work over thousands of years and they are essential to the ever popular monogamous marriages as well.

Where does the concept of oneness come in? From Genesis 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." We are not certain if these were specifically the words of the Creator, of Adam or later Moses. I suspect, God through Moses, but nevertheless it says "one flesh" not one spirit or one person or any other level of "oneness". Some conservative scholars tell us that the "oneness" mentioned is sexual oneness, copulation. While that may well apply, I think there is a more obvious answer that has long been over looked by spiritualizing God's Word. Look at the context, "leave father and mother and cleave unto his wife = one flesh, the establishing of a new family unit. There are reasons bird parents push their young out of the nest. Our generation of people are missing that. When a young man and woman marry, they should move out of the parental home and take on the responsibility of their own home and family unit.

In this diagram, I hope to show how our concept of oneness has robbed people of their unique identity and damaged their relationship with God.

In section "A" the double lines show relationship, responsibility and desire to please our spouses as the primary function in our relationship and the red broken lines show a secondary relationship to God that doesn't have the priority and strength that the first do, leaving God in the perimeter of our lives as an emergency source of help.

In section "B" we see the double lines show relationship to God as being the chief priority, trusting, pleasing and finding our source of strength and purpose in Him. The single line between spouses indicates a level of relationship that does not depend upon the spouse for our happiness, thereby relieving them of the awesome responsibility to be what we need. Spouse is then freed to be who and what he/she is and we can then appreciate them for their reality rather than the role of our emotional supporter. Each can contribute to the relationship, characteristics and commodities that make for a lasting relationship without draining the resources of the other. No spouse can make us happy when we are not happy with God and ourselves. There is no degree of mystical, romantic "oneness" that can make it happen. Because of this, I believe most marriages that fail have arrived at the tragedy of broken hearts.

Finally! (sigh)

I have been absent from the blog for a while due to the laborious task of moving. The last load was taken to a storage unit today. Now the more difficult task of finding a place for everything and then finding it again when needed begins. I hope to be responding to recent comments in a couple of days. Another entry is simmering on the back burner of my mind and I hope to serve it up piping hot soon. Thanks for your patience.

Polygamy and Patriarchy

I designed this chart to illustrate how the culture that God designed for His people will dictate the acceptable styles of marriage that will work in that culture. Conversely, the styles of marriage that are acceptable in our current culture will reveal whether we are operating according to His design. While you may not be aware at this time, I do support the civil right of responsible, mature adults to practice any style of marriage acceptable between God and themselves, I will limit my discussion to the styles and cultures represented on this chart.

This is how Polygamy fits into a New Look At Marriage. God designed marriage, with specific guidelines and He designed a culture, with specific structure.

Any culture that does not allow the style of marriage acceptable to God as shown by His acceptance (without rebuke) of OT saints is not the culture designed by God.

Any style of marriage that doesn't fit the culture designed by God and implemented by His OT saints is not an acceptable style of marriage to God.

Without listing a long file of references, let me conclude this way (I welcome your comments), God designed a patriarchal culture with established leadership. The only styles of marriage that fits this culture is polygamy (by choice) and monogamy (by choice). Monogamy only does not fit the culture designed by God. For our society, civil or ecclesiastical, to promote a style of marriage that is not acceptable to God shows that we have deviated from His plan. If we have deviated there, where else may we be off base?

Are we slaves today?

Anon, "So am I to understand that slavery should be accepted as polgamy should be accepted today? After all slavery was not condemnd in the bible, and just like the many men of God that had multiple wives, also had slaves. Slavery/Polgamy tradition or Truth?"
June 23, 2008 8:52 PM

Thanks for the question! That is a good observation. Both polygamy and slavery were political issues in the U.S.A. during the mid 1800's. Both were linked as evils by politicians to further their careers, much like politicians do today. Slavery was primarily directed toward southern farmers and polygamy was primarily directed toward the LDS church. The civil war was the result of the tirade on slavery and the LDS repealed their position on polygamy, with statehood for Utah as the result. People benefited in both cases. However, as you point out polygamy and slavery were both practiced by Godly men in the Bible. Do we also see that both were practiced by ungodly men and heathen as well?

Both polygamy and slavery, as allowed and regulated by God were much different than what resides in the consciousness of today's western world. We tend to think of both of these cases as being against the will of the individual. That is not the case in the Biblical, blessed sense. To properly understand what The Bible says about these issues, we must think outside our little boxes of smug convenience. Keep the character of God in view as we look into this matter at a future time.

Feminism

Patriarchy and feminism receive so much opposition because both terms have been seriously perverted in modern thinking. Both are Biblical principles that have been twisted to benefit the unique personal point of view of those opposed to God and His purposes. God always has our best interests at heart, even though often, He doesn't clue us in on what's happening. His plan is for us to trust Him and see how He is working things out for His glory and our good.

As I mentioned before patriarchy [and feminism (Bible based)] is a template or pattern of God's relationship with mankind and vice versa. God's enemy and ours, Satan, has perverted these principles to further his own purposes. He began his devious plot in the garden of Eden, when he approached Eve and tempted her to listen to his authority, rather than the authority of her husband (who was placed in that position by God). She had the ability and the right to choose and experience the consequences of that choice. Please notice that Satan did not tempt Adam, but subverted God's program and skipped over the authority figure and initiated rebellion to God's template (mode of operation). Satan has been doing this very effectively since that time. Adam's failure was in listening to the voice of his wife rather than the command of God. He failed as the leader of his family.

That God placed Adam and Eve in respective positions regarding authority (I Corinthians 11), does not make either the man or the woman superior to the other. God's secondary purpose in having distinct organization is for order, efficiency, safety, mental and physical health. His primary purpose is to show us how to have a happy, productive relationship with Him. Patriarchy has been perverted in the minds of the world and therefore most Christians, to assume that this organization makes men abusive masters and women, abject slaves.

Feminism has been perverted in our world today to assume that women are not only equal to men (which they are), but superior (which they are not) and do not need men to be complete and fulfilled. Furthermore feminism today assumes that if women ruled the world, there would be no war, strife and famine. Feminism as the world portrays it, is the perversion that Satan initiated in Eden. It also eliminates God, most people are not aware of the ramifications of modern feminism carried to its ultimate conclusion.

Feminism in the Biblical sense, is altogether different. When God created the first woman, she was the ultimate of His creative work, saving the best for last and then He rested. No jokes about having her do all the work from there on out, please. Adam was formed from the dust of the ground, she was not, she was formed from Adam, man once refined. It has never been part of God's program that women be regarded as slaves or property. That a wife would be in submission to her husbands leadership is no more demeaning to her than it is for all of us to be in submission to our Lords leadership. [See the template at work?] The idea of being demeaned is the result of Satan's perversion of God's program. What God did institute is a program or organization that works extremely well when both men and women fit into their respective roles according to His design. Again, this is not respecting value, but organization and portrayal of God's plan.

All marital problems that exist today have their source in the failure of one or both parties to fulfill their role as God designed. Guys, I am afraid that we as men have the larger responsibility in the failure in marriage. We fail when we do not take the position of leadership for our families, leading them in the way that God leads us. When we lead by poll rather than Biblical policy, we repeat the failure of Adam in the garden.

As to the ability of women to be persons of great self-worth, relative independence, accomplishment, and skill, etc., I only need to refer you to many examples in Scripture; Sarah, Ruth, Deborah, Priscilla, Mary and Martha, etc., but primarily the Proverbs 31 woman. She was strong, motivated, industrious and a free thinker that operated in the structure that God created. To borrow a phrase from the U.S. Army, "Be All That You Can Be". For men and women alike that is a good goal, only we must operate within the frame work of our Lord's design.

Re: Necessary Changes

I have been advised by a Brother to reconsider, moderating comments. Upon reflection, I will reverse my decision. I hope we will not be subject to very personal attacks and I choose not to respond to such, if at all possible. One deleted comment, I will not post, because it is personal and from a grandson.

It is my desire that this blog may be a forum for the exchange of ideas and learning, friendly debate perhaps, without hostility and vitriol.

On My Soap Box

A recent comment, "In reading your blog and comments, it needs to be said that women want love and loyalty, just to them, not to more than one woman in a relationship. Think about this- in the OT and NT times, men took multiple wives. Women were property, traded and bartered, and times are different now. In a society where women have the same rights as men, would you feel comfortable having your wife love more than just you, knowing that the emotion and compassion she feels for you was shared with others? Perhaps men that are more of a "bad boy" than you? It is not fair or righteous for you to subject your wife to that kind of competition. You can analyze the roles all you want, but man, you are on the wrong track."

While I appreciate the well written comment, I must point out the overly broad and unsupported assumption about status of women in Bible times. Women were never considered a commodity for market. The law of God that regulated marriage and relationships and even property and inheritance were not restrictive toward women, but were in fact designed to protect the health, welfare and happiness of women. The world was not the cultivated place we know today. Life was hard, women were not physically strong enough to compete alone in the stringent labors that were necessary to survive and prosper. Yes, they worked hard and long, but so did the men. Both of them with out the benefit of electricity and machinery as we know it today. Technology has greatly leveled the playing field between men and women in today's world, making it possible for each gender to compete in a broader field of labors.

In regard to times being different, well, have you heard that the more things change, the more they stay the same? Yes, the world is different, but human nature has not changed one iota since the beginning of time. The majority of people that marry today, still want the same things from their marriages that we have always wanted, love, acceptance, belonging, peace, security, excitement, sex, family, identity and others. However, in our rapidly changing world, instead of improving on the quality of the marriage relationship our culture is decimating the institution. The high divorce rate, the growing number of people who decide to live together without lifelong commitment, the drug and alcohol abuse by married people all tells this blogger that as a people we are not getting it right! Because of this I look to the Bible as my guide, to tell me how the creator of marriage said it should be. If you want to succeed, read the instruction manual (never thought you'd hear a guy say that!). Bottom line, if you want a solid marriage that works, do it the Bible way. Patriarchy is the Bible way, feminism is the modern worldly way. I will define those two terms in another post.

Also, any father knows what it is like to have his wife love another as much or more than him. Isn't that baby precious, how could you and why would you want to compete? There is enough love to go around, isn't there mom. Commentor, why do you assume that love is measured in limited quantities? Do you not understand that love is an inexhaustible well, the more you give, the more you have to give. One never loses by loving. Loving diversely is commanded and blessed by God. The references are too numerable to list.

For a woman to insist on love and loyalty to her only is selfishness at its worst. In a world where fewer men qualify as good husbands, to not share that blessing with her sisters is disgraceful to the very principle of love.

Why do I feel like I've been on a soap box?

Manly Men

Let me describe manliness as I see it revealed in the Bible.

1. Manliness is not perfection. Some of God's greatest men were men who made the greatest mistakes.



2. Manliness is not equated with size or brawniness, very few of God's men are described with physical characteristics. It doesn't matter how often you shave, either. It is not about machisimo.



3. Manliness is about heart and character.



4. It is being faithful to God, family, church, self and your personal calling.



5. It is being responsible for your actions, behavior and dependents. It is about not whining or quiting.



6. It is about facing adversity and growing closer to God.



7. It is about believing God when no one else around you does.



8. It is about compassion for those around you, particularly those who are weak or helpless.



9. It is about love, for God and love for people.
10. It is about the inner man. Inner strength, inner peace, inner confidence and contentment.



11. Manliness is a male role, but not the same as maleness. A guy may be male, but not manly, however one can not be manly without being male.

I fear that we have confused the issue between male and manly. Two places in the Bible is the phrase "quit you like men" used. First by a Philistine officer, when his troops were loosing a battle (they rallied and won). Second, when Paul told the Corinthian Christians to behave as men. The world equates Christianity with weakness. God desires and honors manly Christian men and no, its not about football or beer either.

Aren't you tired of the way the entertainment world portrays men? Let's rise up and take our world back!

Man and Manhood

When I take a new look at marriage, polygamy suddenly appears Biblical, but what I am seeing as most important and worthy of a new examination of what God intended marriage to be, is something else altogether. The role of men and women in our society has been seriously marred by centuries of Roman Catholic influence. We are equal in value before God and men, but our roles are so uniquely different, that we cannot get the desired results. This is a conflict between feminism and patriarchy. The relationship between mankind and God is described throughout the Bible, as the relationship of family to Father. God designed the earthly family to be a platform to display the benefits of our relationship to God and how we can know Him. This has been seriously corrupted by the rise of feminism.

Feminism started in the Garden of Eden, when Eve was tempted to and did listen to the voice of the serpent, instead of her husband, God's authority figure in their family. Adams initial sin was to listen to the voice of his wife instead of listening to God, his authority figure. It has been going down hill since then. Satan inspired female deities, to supplant the living God in the minds of men has been his greatest ploy. Today, we have men made to look like total, spineless, idiots in commercials, movies and sitcoms all over the place. In todays world the image of what it means to be a man has been lost to our western culture. This is one of the reasons the Bad Boys stand out in appeal to many women.

I do not blame women for this, I believe most women still want their men to be real men. The problem is that our culture has no standard apart from the Bible for manhood, and we have ignored it's teaching on the subject. There is no rite of passage for guys today. When do you become a man? How does a man behave?

More later, but for now let me say, a real man treasures the women in his life, wife, mother, sisters, daughters, friends, but is ruled by none of them. He loves and respects each, but worships none but God.

A Discovery

I have discovered that writing my own blog is much more difficult than I first thought. That is quite a confession for a guy that has an opinion on just about anything. I find it easier to comment on someone else's blog than to initiate my own topics. Perhaps this is like high school, where I took physics and algebra at the same time. The trouble was, the math I needed for physics came 3 weeks later in algebra than when I needed it in physics. The comparison works like this, I am such a novice to internet operations and blogging in particular that I am having trouble with composing and learning formatting at the same time. This slows me down. Today I learned how to display links to other sites. I feel so accomplished!

Another problem that has plagued me is my own sense of order. I want one post to be followed in sequence by another and another in a logical flow. This would create a large body of information that tells my whole story. The problem with that is that it requires a lot more planning and time than I have to devote to it. Plus, it is contrary to the nature of blogging as I have discovered by reading many others.

From now on, it is my goal to write more often and allow each post to stand by itself. When I get the time and motivation, I will assemble all these little pearls from the blog and put them where they belong, in a web site or a book.

I appreciate all the comments that I have received. I will resist the temptation to answer each one and prove my point when there is disagreement. Why?, because I doubt my ability to convince someone of my opinion and it is contrary to the purpose of this blog. Rather, I will answer a few as the muse dictates and allow all the comments to guide me to points of interest for future posts. Also, don't tell anyone or I will deny it, the point of view of others does stimulate my mind to further learning. Shsssss.

A New Look...

“A New Look At Old Marriage” has come about because of my being forced to investigate an event in my life that I knew to be experientially true, even though it went against everything I had been taught and believed all my life.

What I discovered was a body of truth that seemed to exist in a parallel universe. This body of truth was clearly in the Bible, but had been cleverly distorted by centuries of interpretation and the insertion of pagan ideologies. Slight deviations had altered the plans and purposes of God tremendously. I am talking about our concept of what God teaches in His Word, the Bible, concerning what is approvable to Him as marriage.

Before anyone closes the page, please hear me out. It will not be a major investment of time for you to read, study, investigate and understand what I am putting forth here. I am kindly asking you to do this before you close this blog and your mind to the possibility that we have been misled and missed a very important aspect of marriage that could bring happiness to many hearts, security to many families and comfort to many lonely souls.

I am referring to the fact that monogamy is not the only form of marriage permitted, taught, approved and blessed of God in the Bible. This is the case in both the Old Testament as well as the New Testament. The other form of marriage demonstrated in the Bible is polygyny (one husband with more than one wife at the same time). Many people mistakenly call this polygamy. This is where I fear many will turn the page or close the site. Keep the page and your mind open a bit longer, so I may explain how what we see in the cults and fringe religious groups is not what is being taught in the Bible. Let’s take a “New Look At Old Marriage”.

There is solid evidence that shows the deviation from the Bible picture of marriage began in the second and third century A.D. Rather than reinventing the wheel and rewriting that which has so ably been done I will state the truth and refer to the original works from the late 1600’s and 1700’s to the present day. There is a wealth of material available to anyone who is willing to admit that the state of marriage in the last century has been going downhill rapidly and is willing to investigate as to why it is happening.


Please read along with me and see if you cannot find a thread of truth here that will lead you to reinvestigate what God’s Word says about marriage. Never, never be afraid of the truth, but flee from error.

In the beginning

Why take a “New Look At Old Marriage”? The most obvious reason is that new marriage isn’t working. Divorce is rampant. Sleeping around and shallow relationships are all too common and leave so many people with emptiness, loneliness and insecurity. Broken hearts and emotional pain cover the land, both of adults, but also children. Marriage itself is a good thing, but we have gotten off track and therefore end up at a different destination than expected. I am a Christian and a Pastor of four decades of experience and my experience tells me that we are not getting it right.

God instituted the first marriage and followed up with instructions on how it should work. This blog will look at marriage as it is revealed in the Bible and then compare that information with modern practice. I will not dispute the accuracy of the Bible; it is my source and authority. I believe God inspired it and God provides the Holy Spirit illumination of its truths.

One does not have to be a Christian to implement the principles that will be discussed; they will work for anyone. Gods’ results follow the implementation of Gods truth.

I assure you, some of the truth revealed here will surprise and maybe even shock you. I will mess with your traditions. Tradition is no good if it transgresses the Word and Will of God. Bottom line is, I don’t care what your traditions are or mine for that matter. What I do care about is, “What Does God Say”!

There are two forms of marriage presented in the Bible, monogamy and polygyny. It is not my program to promote one over the other, but to show how both are acceptable to God and how that reality, casts a different light on marriage itself.

I will include links to other sites that deal with these issues as well as publications found online or in bookstores that will do a better job of presentation than I may. I may or may not agree with everything that someone else says or writes. I supply these links to further expose you to truth and ideas that will stimulate your thoughts as mine have been. I will leave it up to you to investigate, think, search, consider and maybe even pray to see what is true. You must find truth for yourself. It is my job to inform. It is yours to discover truth and decide what to believe. I refuse to be responsible for what you believe. After all, everyone has the right to be wrong if you wish.

I invite your comments. Agree or disagree, but let’s do it courteously, kindly and respectfully, oh yes, let’s also support our point of view with evidence. Please do not be upset if no one is convinced by a well intentioned “well I think”.

My goal is to help strengthen existing marriages and show Gods plan for those considering marriage.