Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Fair Share - MM#2

Arithmetic has caused a lot of problems for married people and I don't mean balancing the checkbook. Somehow the idea has become popular that marriage is a 50/50 arrangement. Each spouse gives half effort and they meet harmoniously in the middle. Unfortunately that doesn't work. Soon there is some sort of inadequacy and then someone starts keeping score. Resentment and bitterness are the result, showing up as anger, tears, distance and more. Eventually isolation becomes the norm and happiness decreases rather than grows.
In God's program as taught in Ephesians 5 each spouse gives 100%. The wife totally yields herself to the authority, protection and leadership of her husband. The husband totally loves his wife as Christ loved the church, without expectation of perfection (just as she is). When each spouse endeavors to give all, the expectations are not as great as the acceptance of the others gift. Consider not asking what you can get from your spouse, but what can I give him/her. There truly is greater joy in giving than receiving.