Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
- Can a single Christian man or woman THRIVE, emotionally, socially or spiritually in todays American society??
- Is the opposition to the FLDS polygynist lifestyle appropriate when compared to the accepted and tolerated loose living lifestyle of moderate "Christians"?
- Is feminism the result of evolutionary thinking or does it have a Biblical basis?
- Thought: A man, whose wife has the power (ability, right) to permit or forbid his taking on the responsibility of an additional wife, is not operating in Biblical patriarchal authority.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
In my opinion (does that exempt me from being thought of as a know-it-all ?), one of the major problems affecting marriage today is the concept of "oneness" between husbnand and wife. Among my recent discoveries, I noticed that many marriages suffer a lack of satisfaction because of unrealistic expectations of what it means to be one with your spouse or spouses. Many of us have been taught to expect that when we marry, our relationship with our spouse will take on a magical or spiritual essense (like in the movies)where we unite on a level of "oneness" that excludes everyone else and in "oneness" we will eventually find wedded bliss. It sounds real good, only one problem, it isn't true!! The kind of "oneness" that is being sought can only be attained over a period of many years together. For many spouses, it is never attained. For them and all others in the intervening years between starting out and finally surviving to old age together (assuming you make it) what really happens? After the passion of youthful vitality wanes and the bloom of romance fades into daily reality, what we are left with is the stuff that lasting relationships are made of, love, committment, compromise, patience, making mistakes, learning from mistakes, forgiveness, etc. These are the things that make a marriage successful. They have made arranged marriages work and polygynous marriages work over thousands of years and they are essential to the ever popular monogamous marriages as well.
Where does the concept of oneness come in? From Genesis 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." We are not certain if these were specifically the words of the Creator, of Adam or later Moses. I suspect, God through Moses, but nevertheless it says "one flesh" not one spirit or one person or any other level of "oneness". Some conservative scholars tell us that the "oneness" mentioned is sexual oneness, copulation. While that may well apply, I think there is a more obvious answer that has long been over looked by spiritualizing God's Word. Look at the context, "leave father and mother and cleave unto his wife = one flesh, the establishing of a new family unit. There are reasons bird parents push their young out of the nest. Our generation of people are missing that. When a young man and woman marry, they should move out of the parental home and take on the responsibility of their own home and family unit.
In this diagram, I hope to show how our concept of oneness has robbed people of their unique identity and damaged their relationship with God.
In section "A" the double lines show relationship, responsibility and desire to please our spouses as the primary function in our relationship and the red broken lines show a secondary relationship to God that doesn't have the priority and strength that the first do, leaving God in the perimeter of our lives as an emergency source of help.
In section "B" we see the double lines show relationship to God as being the chief priority, trusting, pleasing and finding our source of strength and purpose in Him. The single line between spouses indicates a level of relationship that does not depend upon the spouse for our happiness, thereby relieving them of the awesome responsibility to be what we need. Spouse is then freed to be who and what he/she is and we can then appreciate them for their reality rather than the role of our emotional supporter. Each can contribute to the relationship, characteristics and commodities that make for a lasting relationship without draining the resources of the other. No spouse can make us happy when we are not happy with God and ourselves. There is no degree of mystical, romantic "oneness" that can make it happen. Because of this, I believe most marriages that fail have arrived at the tragedy of broken hearts.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
June 23, 2008 8:52 PM
Thanks for the question! That is a good observation. Both polygamy and slavery were political issues in the U.S.A. during the mid 1800's. Both were linked as evils by politicians to further their careers, much like politicians do today. Slavery was primarily directed toward southern farmers and polygamy was primarily directed toward the LDS church. The civil war was the result of the tirade on slavery and the LDS repealed their position on polygamy, with statehood for Utah as the result. People benefited in both cases. However, as you point out polygamy and slavery were both practiced by Godly men in the Bible. Do we also see that both were practiced by ungodly men and heathen as well?
Both polygamy and slavery, as allowed and regulated by God were much different than what resides in the consciousness of today's western world. We tend to think of both of these cases as being against the will of the individual. That is not the case in the Biblical, blessed sense. To properly understand what The Bible says about these issues, we must think outside our little boxes of smug convenience. Keep the character of God in view as we look into this matter at a future time.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I like your observation that marriage is "expected of" women. I think that this is the correct view for the NT times when there were few, if any options for widows or single Mom's (God bless them both), but now, I feel that it is permissible to say that marriage is not obligatory, because there are more opportunities for social or financial assistance available. This helps eliminate the necessity for marriage and opens the door for marriage by desire (physical, emotional or social; all acceptable reasons). I would like to suggest a modification for your consideration as you investigate the issue. Let's say that marriage is "available for" women in the Christian setting (with some modification to our way of thinking). Let me know what you think.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
It is my desire that this blog may be a forum for the exchange of ideas and learning, friendly debate perhaps, without hostility and vitriol.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I want to grow up and be like my Lord, I know I have a long, long way to go, but I am in and on the way. Who do you want to be like?
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Thanks for understanding.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Polygamy is the pivot around which something more significant to me turns. That is Patriarchy, a Biblical base for family relations that is as misunderstood as polygamy. These two fit together like a hand and glove.
My illustration about fathers learning to share moms was certainly misunderstood. No, babies do not feel jealousy immediately, but they develop it rather quickly. The little rascals display all the characteristics of a human being much sooner than our idealists would like to think. Yes, fathers do have to deal with the emotions of being left out of the mother/child bond. Some times they have to take steps to insure that mom doesn't forget who helped produce that sweet thing. Commentator, please don't get so bent out of shape, it makes me feel we have hit a nerve somewhere.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
- Manliness is not perfection. Some of God's greatest men were men who made the greatest mistakes.
- Manliness is not equated with size or brawniness, very few of God's men are described with physical characteristics. It doesn't matter how often you shave, either. It is not about machisimo.
- Manliness is about heart and character.
- It is being faithful to God, family, church, self and your personal calling.
- It is being responsible for your actions, behavior and dependents. It is about not whining or quiting.
- It is about facing adversity and growing closer to God.
- It is about believing God when no one else around you does.
- It is about compassion for those around you, particularly those who are weak or helpless.
- It is about love, for God and love for people.
- It is about the inner man. Inner strength, inner peace, inner confidence and contentment.
- Manliness is a male role, but not the same as maleness. A guy may be male, but not manly, however one can not be manly without being male.
I fear that we have confused the issue between male and manly. Two places in the Bible is the phrase "quit you like men" used. First by a Philistine officer, when his troops were loosing a battle (they rallied and won). Second, when Paul told the Corinthian Christians to behave as men. The world equates Christianity with weakness. God desires and honors manly Christian men and no, its not about football or beer either.
Aren't you tired of the way the entertainment world portrays men? Let's rise up and take our world back!
Feminism started in the Garden of Eden, when Eve was tempted to and did listen to the voice of the serpent, instead of her husband, God's authority figure in their family. Adams initial sin was to listen to the voice of his wife instead of listening to God, his authority figure. It has been going down hill since then. Satan inspired female deities, to supplant the living God in the minds of men has been his greatest ploy. Today, we have men made to look like total, spineless, idiots in commercials, movies and sitcoms all over the place. In todays world the image of what it means to be a man has been lost to our western culture. This is one of the reasons the Bad Boys stand out in appeal to many women.
I do not blame women for this, I believe most women still want their men to be real men. The problem is that our culture has no standard apart from the Bible for manhood, and we have ignored it's teaching on the subject. There is no rite of passage for guys today. When do you become a man? How does a man behave?
More later, but for now let me say, a real man treasures the women in his life, wife, mother, sisters, daughters, friends, but is ruled by none of them. He loves and respects each, but worships none but God.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Another problem that has plagued me is my own sense of order. I want one post to be followed in sequence by another and another in a logical flow. This would create a large body of information that tells my whole story. The problem with that is that it requires a lot more planning and time than I have to devote to it. Plus, it is contrary to the nature of blogging as I have discovered by reading many others.
From now on, it is my goal to write more often and allow each post to stand by itself. When I get the time and motivation, I will assemble all these little pearls from the blog and put them where they belong, in a web site or a book.
I appreciate all the comments that I have received. I will resist the temptation to answer each one and prove my point when there is disagreement. Why?, because I doubt my ability to convince someone of my opinion and it is contrary to the purpose of this blog. Rather, I will answer a few as the muse dictates and allow all the comments to guide me to points of interest for future posts. Also, don't tell anyone or I will deny it, the point of view of others does stimulate my mind to further learning. Shsssss.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Years ago, when my wife was reading Harlequin romance novels, I read a few to see what the appeal was. I found out, fantasy! After reading a few, it was apparent that there was little deviation in the characters, settings changed, but the characters were fairly consistent. The male hero is a man in his late 20's - 40's. He is an individualist, handsome to ruggedly handsome, with a charming smile. Usually he owns property, has had his heart broken by another woman some time in the not too distant past. Above all, his most enduring trait is wealth, which translates to evident power of some kind or other. These are extremely popular pieces of fiction. Women like these characters and dream of them, but settle for realism.
Sometime ago I took an unofficial poll. I asked at least a dozen men and women the same question. "Many women and girls appear to be attracted to the Bad Boys, what is the attraction?" Most of the answers fell into the expected catagories, she can save him, rebellion against parents, etc. The answer that I believe is the most accurate is "It's the sex, if anyone tells you anything different, she is lying". I think my friend was being honest and what I believe she meant by that is that no matter what the Bad Boys are or are not, they are confident in their maleness. They exude a sensual sexuality that most women find attractive. Women are supposed to be attracted to maleness, just as men are attracted to femaleness; we are created that way. Our culture has essentially emasculated the image of manhood. Boys are not encouraged to behave as boys when they are little.
Most women today (some secretly) desire men that are masculine in their attitudes. He looks like responsibility, leadership, a measure of success, glad he is a man, and secure in who he is. He will take charge, but still be concerned for her welfare. He will stand up for what he believes and fight to protect what he is responsible for. He is not usually a good candidate to accept female leadership and will respect integrity, strength and courage.
My opinion, for what it's worth. Am I wrong?
This list is not exclusive by nature, it is inclusive of my favorite sites thus far. I am not singling out Truthbearer.org. I have read much on that site and learned much, but I am listing my favorites. I will post links to the sites and authors that I feel more compatable with. This is only reflecting my personal tastes, I can't be a clearing house for sites. Google does a much better job on that than I can. There is so much info on the web that it would be futile for a blog to try to list all the good sites. What are your favorite sites?
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Let me first confess to not being the wisest or most knowledgable Nut to be hanging on the tree. That said, let me respond to your question. By the nature of the words , replenish and dominate are relative terms. To what level must we attain to have replenished and dominated the world? Anyone who flies has looked down on vast expanses of land in the USA and wondered where are all the people and even our domesticated animals are hardly dominated, just ask any cat owner. I think these purposes are still in effect, but there are other purposes for the union of a man and woman; these will apply to monogamous and polygynist marriages equally.
- Physical pleasure is not a result of the fall, but a part of the creation; possibly just because God likes us and to make procreation more likely. After all, after the terrible twos, there are second thoughts of having anymore children.
- Fulfillment of the natural traits (generally speaking) of each partner is enabled in the mutual relationship. His - protecting and providing, hers - nurturing and nesting (see the post "Different"), each contributing value to the marriage.
- Support for personal purposes, companionship.
- The marriage relationship is designed to portray in the human theater, the relationship between God and mankind. Everything we can know about God can be learned in a healthy human family
The second part of your question is best answered by saying, Gods instructions in Genesis 1 and 2 are not specific instructions to all individuals, but a declaration of His program and human involvement. Nowhere in The Bible are men commanded to marry, with the exception of the levirate marriage. We do not live in a perfect world, some people are better off not being married.
Friday, May 23, 2008
"We are now in the midst of a dawning realization, in business and society, that while men and women are of “equal” importance and value, they are not the same. In fact, brain research over the last 30 years or so demonstrates undeniably that men and women are quite different – physically, neurologically and emotionally. In studying the research, I’ve realized the powerful compliment in our innate differences. For instance, men have tunnel, binocular vision, while women have wide-ranging peripheral vision. Men’s brains are configured to be more logical and women are wired to be intuitive. The feminine inclination to be nurturing and inclusive is complemented by the masculine proclivity to be protective and territorial, and the list goes on."
The Power of Femininity
This is the first look at human relationships, in the first book of the Bible. The best place to start any study is at the beginning. In this first look we want to see the basic, foundational truths that God has provided for us. Not all of His information on human relationships is found here or it would be the destination rather than the beginning (simple isn’t it).
1. Gods decision. The man should not be alone, vs. 18. Also see Hebrews 13:4. Marriage is part of Gods general plan for mankind.
2. Gods plan. “An help meet for him”, a general partner, vs. 18. This dispels the romantic myth of the one special person somewhere in the universe that is your perfect match and your destiny is to find him/her. Parents have arranged marriages for their children for millennia with greater than average success, proving that genuine love can grow where respect and commitment exist. See Ephesians 5: 25 where husbands are commanded to love their wives. See Titus 2:4 where the aged women are to teach the younger wives to love their husbands.
If spousal love can be commanded and taught, then initial love is not the only or best basis for marriage. One should only marry someone if they respect the person and are able to commit themselves to the marriage. Initial love will grow in that environment.
3. Gods operation. And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman. She was the same as the man, but with some differences, vs. 21-22. Long live the differences.
4. Adams observation. Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; they shall be one flesh. Adams declaration is, since woman is taken from man, they are one physically. The union that results when a man and woman come together physically (sexually) is what God first intended for marriage. No official, no rite, no outside pronouncement can further sanctify what has already taken place between the man and woman, vs.23-24.
5. Marital status. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. They were physically, sexually intimate and had no guilt or shame, vs.25. Some writers and religionists would have us to believe that sexuality is sinful. If God created and instituted the practice, then it cannot be bad.
God brought together a man and a woman for a specific purpose. God assigned the man a task and the woman was brought into the world to assist the man in his task (help meet). He was complete; she was not necessary to make him a whole person. Her role was to be one like him and join him in a physical union that would further aid in accomplishing his God given task.
This is a foundational look at the first marriage. I will add to this view other information that will rest on this foundation. Let’s be careful to not inject our own prejudices or assumptions that we pull from conventional thought.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Thelyphthora – volume 1 by Rev. Martin Madan
Thelyphthora – volume 2
Hagar by Mercer Davies
The History and Philosophy of Marriage by James Campbell
Chapter 10 from A Treatise On Christian Doctrine: Compiled from the Holy Scriptures Alone by John Milton
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
What I discovered was a body of truth that seemed to exist in a parallel universe. This body of truth was clearly in the Bible, but had been cleverly distorted by centuries of interpretation and the insertion of pagan ideologies. Slight deviations had altered the plans and purposes of God tremendously. I am talking about our concept of what God teaches in His Word, the Bible, concerning what is approvable to Him as marriage.
Before anyone closes the page, please hear me out. It will not be a major investment of time for you to read, study, investigate and understand what I am putting forth here. I am kindly asking you to do this before you close this blog and your mind to the possibility that we have been misled and missed a very important aspect of marriage that could bring happiness to many hearts, security to many families and comfort to many lonely souls.
I am referring to the fact that monogamy is not the only form of marriage permitted, taught, approved and blessed of God in the Bible. This is the case in both the Old Testament as well as the New Testament. The other form of marriage demonstrated in the Bible is polygyny (one husband with more than one wife at the same time). Many people mistakenly call this polygamy. This is where I fear many will turn the page or close the site. Keep the page and your mind open a bit longer, so I may explain how what we see in the cults and fringe religious groups is not what is being taught in the Bible. Let’s take a “New Look At Old Marriage”.
There is solid evidence that shows the deviation from the Bible picture of marriage began in the second and third century A.D. Rather than reinventing the wheel and rewriting that which has so ably been done I will state the truth and refer to the original works from the late 1600’s and 1700’s to the present day. There is a wealth of material available to anyone who is willing to admit that the state of marriage in the last century has been going downhill rapidly and is willing to investigate as to why it is happening.
Please read along with me and see if you cannot find a thread of truth here that will lead you to reinvestigate what God’s Word says about marriage. Never, never be afraid of the truth, but flee from error.
Monday, May 19, 2008
God instituted the first marriage and followed up with instructions on how it should work. This blog will look at marriage as it is revealed in the Bible and then compare that information with modern practice. I will not dispute the accuracy of the Bible; it is my source and authority. I believe God inspired it and God provides the Holy Spirit illumination of its truths.
One does not have to be a Christian to implement the principles that will be discussed; they will work for anyone. Gods’ results follow the implementation of Gods truth.
I assure you, some of the truth revealed here will surprise and maybe even shock you. I will mess with your traditions. Tradition is no good if it transgresses the Word and Will of God. Bottom line is, I don’t care what your traditions are or mine for that matter. What I do care about is, “What Does God Say”!
There are two forms of marriage presented in the Bible, monogamy and polygyny. It is not my program to promote one over the other, but to show how both are acceptable to God and how that reality, casts a different light on marriage itself.
I will include links to other sites that deal with these issues as well as publications found online or in bookstores that will do a better job of presentation than I may. I may or may not agree with everything that someone else says or writes. I supply these links to further expose you to truth and ideas that will stimulate your thoughts as mine have been. I will leave it up to you to investigate, think, search, consider and maybe even pray to see what is true. You must find truth for yourself. It is my job to inform. It is yours to discover truth and decide what to believe. I refuse to be responsible for what you believe. After all, everyone has the right to be wrong if you wish.
I invite your comments. Agree or disagree, but let’s do it courteously, kindly and respectfully, oh yes, let’s also support our point of view with evidence. Please do not be upset if no one is convinced by a well intentioned “well I think”.
My goal is to help strengthen existing marriages and show Gods plan for those considering marriage.