Godly Patriarchy
Without presenting supporting
scriptural references at this time, I will attempt to describe as fully as
possible, my understanding of “Godly Patriarchy” as being unique among any
other status called “Patriarchy”.
I promote Godly Patriarchy that is
based entirely upon the example found in the Bible. The specific example is that of God with His people: both Jewish
and Gentile believers. I intentionally
am not appealing to the Biblical passages that occur in Israel from the time
the Law was given to Moses until the coming of Christ. My reason for doing so is that those
passages are in relationship to what I consider the civil law of the nation of
Israel. As a gentile believer in Christ
and a citizen of the state of Arizona, USA, the civil laws of Israel have no
jurisdiction here. There are other
forms of patriarchy revealed in the Bible, practiced by both Jewish and other
people groups, pagans, heathen and barbarians as well as civilizations that were
the peak cultures of the world at their time.
These other forms of patriarchy will not be discussed here, because I am
not making comparisons or trying to salvage bits and pieces of their best.
I promote Godly
Patriarchy that is based upon the foundation of God’s love and grace
as demonstrated to His people. The
relationship of Christ with each of His churches reveals the relationship that
God desires for a husband to have with each wife he may be married to. This patriarchy reveals a man loving his
wife and taking responsibility for her and their family in the same way that
Jesus does for His churches. Jesus did
this voluntarily, of His free will, without coercion, not based upon any need
that He had for the churches, not because any church was attractive to Him or
had any benefit to offer Him. The sole
reason that Jesus takes responsibility of leadership and care for any church is
His undeniable love for each church.
The
patriarchy that follows the example of Christ will never force or attempt to
force any woman to be a wife to a man, no matter how godly or ungodly he may
be. No husband that identifies himself
as a Christian has any right to demand a woman behave in submission or
obedience to him and his leadership, or remain under the protective umbrella of
his love and authority against her will.
She should always be free to remove herself from the blessing and
benefit of her marriage relationship, as far as the man is considered. Dealing with God may be another matter
altogether. No godly husband should
ever consider controlling his wife by means of intimidation, fear or
coercion.
To
understand his lack of control and her liberty, we need only look at the way
Christ deals with His own. As a
believer, a child of the Father and in a type of marital relationship with
Christ (part of the Bride to His Bridegroom) we are not held to our Lord Jesus
by anything other than His love for us and our love for Him in return.
A
husband has not been given the authority or power to cause a woman to be his
wife, much less his property against her will.
While she may become his wife by the means of promises, ceremonies and
sexual intercourse, the husband has no means whereby he may force her to become
or remain his wife. He may endeavor to
do so, but all he will accomplish by strength or force, is to cause her to
comply externally, never reaching her heart.
Her heart (where the Holy Spirit is enthroned) is where the treasure of
a wife is found and unless her heart is affected, she may well stray or escape
such a relationship. Even if she were
to remain with him, she will be distant, cold or phony. Her husband should endeavor to reach her
heart with his love for God and her.
I promote Godly
Patriarchy that gives a woman the opportunity to be the kind of wife
that is demonstrated by the relationship of a church to Christ. The key to understanding the role of a woman
as a wife in Godly Patriarchy is recognizing the role of a Christian (as part
of a church) toward the Lord. If we can
understand the Apostle John’s text where he said “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth
out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in
love. We love him, because he first
loved us.” we are better able to comprehend what a woman’s focus
is to be as she endeavors to excel as a wife.
A church responds to the love of Christ by loving Him in return. A church will love Him, not because we feel
loved or because He gives us things and grants our wishes, but because of whom
Christ is. The love of God working in
her and from her will produce a uniquely Christian wife.
The role
of a woman is not to become a wife based upon what her husband does for her,
but because of whom he is. Too often in
our culture (in the USA) it is assumed that a wife may remain in or leave a
marriage based upon her feelings or what she gets out of the relationship. Such is not reflecting the church/Christ
relationship. Our cultural example puts
the woman/wife in the driver’s seat of the marriage. Is a church in control of its relationship with Christ? No and for good reason. Any human relationship between people of
different abilities, strengths and visions, must, of necessity have a division
of authority. Partnerships are only for
those that are equal in right and authority.
No church is on an equal stance with Christ. He is God and we are not, not even close.
In
addition, Christ has taken upon Himself the leadership and protection detail of
His churches, voluntarily, as being subordinate to the Father (yet equal in
nature), yet superior to the churches.
He exercises authority over the churches, leads, protects them and
provides for them as He sees their needs until He presents them all together as
one chaste Bride at the end of time.
Jesus is the original guy bringing His girl home to meet Dad.
This
being so, what do we call Him? The
answer is, “Lord”. We show Christ
honor, respect, reverence and praise.
We relate to Him as one who respects His authority and position,
appreciating who He is and rest secure in His protection, obeying Him as He
directs us. We do His will, not He
doing ours. We identify Him, relate to
Him and submit to Him, as being our Lord.
We do not chide Him for having plans that are different from ours. We do not criticize Him for acting
independently from us or for not seeking our counsel. We do not question His motives or actions when we do not
understand His ways. After all, the
Father put Him in the leadership position over us. To rebel against Christ‘s leadership over us is to rebel against
the Lordship of our Heavenly Father.
These
same principles are overlaid on the husband/wife relationship. Ephesians 5 teaches us that this overlay is
God’s plan. When a woman becomes a
wife, there are certain characteristics, behaviors and responsibilities that go
with the position. These were designed
by God and are not the idea of any man.
A woman/wife is not answerable to her husband for meeting the criteria
of a wife. She is answerable to the
Lord. She will fill her role as a wife
to and with her husband, but not under obligation to him, but rather under
obligation to our Lord Jesus Christ.
The
Bible makes reference to the husband being the head of the woman and or family
many times. These references are not
indicating any superiority or inferiority of personhood, but are rather
declaring that God has designed marriage and families with structure and
order. That design reflects the
relationship of the Godhead with His creation and their redemption. A godly woman that becomes a wife does not
become inferior in character or value to her husband. Both men and women were created in the image and likeness of God;
we share equally in His love and care.
What she does have is a position in the family that is under the
authority and protection of her husband, this does not demean her. It is a voluntary position, a role she
assumes in her service to God and one that God elevates to a place of
excellency and honor as shown in Proverbs 31.
She answers to God for her effectiveness and accuracy in her
position. When God created Eve to be
the helper to Adam, she became a valuable player in God’s great plan of the
ages.
It is
not the divinely designed role of the wife to exercise leadership, oversight,
criticism or authority over her husband.
All those responsibilities fall upon the shoulders of his head, the Lord
Jesus Christ. Her role was spoken of by
our Father in Genesis 2; He said, “I will make a helper fit for him”. The role of a wife is to be: 1. Be a woman
of God in all areas of her life, 2. Be a helper of her husband, a complimentary
assistant to him, 3. To find satisfaction and joy in being who she is and in
being a part of a great plan and program that may for some include being a
mother and investing herself in the future through her children. For all wives it will include being a
bulwark of strength and resource to her husband as he follows the call of God
on his life.
I promote Godly
Patriarchy that displays the purpose and place of a man in the world
as an example of the character and mission of Christ. The first woman, Eve, was created to be a
helper for Adam in fulfilling the great task that God had given him. God declared the need for Adam to have a
helper as Adam recognized his singleness.
It is a
rare man today that recognizes that need.
Perhaps he is rare because so few men recognize God’s claim on their
life as Lord and Savior. We seem quick
to recognize our need of Christ as Savior, but are quite reluctant to
acknowledge Christ as Lord. As men we
seem hard pressed to submit our selves to Christ as our Head, at least we have
a hard time understanding the depth of that commitment. We struggle with the identity of being under
the headship of Christ and yielding to Him, while at the same time identifying
our selves as the head of our wives and children. At the same time we expect our wives to make that level of
commitment to us.
It is my
opinion that most of the problems that exist between husbands and wives would
be solved if both parties recognized the authority of Christ in their
lives. God gives every man a mission
for Christ and usually blesses him with at least one wife to be his helper in
that task. The mission given to men is
not always, or even usually, that of being a pastor, teacher or preacher of
some kind outside of his family. But
God does give those positions to every husband within his family, he is the
priest of his family, God’s representative and agent in bringing his family to
the knowledge of God, guiding them in His word and will. He is also given a place of responsibility
as a light bearer in the work place, to shine for Christ in behavior and spoken
word, making an impact of some kind on our secular world. These are formidable tasks, added to the
responsibility of making a living and growing in his relationship to Christ
personally. His greatest support and
encouragement, besides the Holy Spirit should be his God given helper, his
wife, who is often the agent the Holy Spirit uses to succor and support him. It is impossible for a wife to be a helper
to a man that doesn't know that he has a series of tasks and responsibilities
and is not doing them. Men, we need to
be busy about the Lord’s work before we get concerned about our helpers
effectiveness. Leave that to her Lord
and your head, Jesus Christ.
I promote Godly
Patriarchy that demonstrates the love of God for His own redeemed
ones and the love of those redeemed ones for Him. This love is most surely demonstrated by God sending His Son
Jesus to take our place in judgment against our sin on the cross. Our only appropriate and acceptable response
to His love is to love Him in return as noted in the above quote from I John.
Godly
Patriarchy – Godly Marriage is the arena where we as mere human men and women
are given the opportunity to teach each other about the love of God. We are also to demonstrate in this arena,
the love of God with His order and relationship to us and each other; the
message of grace and salvation to our children, grandchildren, relatives and
the lost world around us. This will
never be accomplished if husbands and wives are struggling for control, of each
other and of leadership of the family.
We can overcome the natural tendency to struggle for control by
personally yielding our own lives to Christ and following His divinely ordained
structure for marriage, finding the place He has for each of us. Human will and wisdom alone will not suffice
to construct the divine design for marriage, our Lord, with His word is
required to bring about that development.
If each will not submit to Christ the divine order is impossible. The next best scenario is pressurized chaos,
with the strongest will temporarily in control. Control will always be a contest of wills and endurance. In the divine order, peace reigns, the peace
of God, because ultimately, He is in control, not us.
In summation, Godly Patriarchy
Is:
·
God being in control of our marriage.
·
Men being in submission to Christ.
·
Women being in submission to Christ.
·
Men in leadership.
·
Not about mere human control.
·
Filling our role from God.
·
About peace in the family.
·
Not designed for chaos.
